I couldn’t agree with you more! My 7.5 mo daughter got sick for the first the other day and although she is better from that, there is a good possibility she’s having an allergic reaction to something now. Yesterday, last night, and today I started getting really aggravated bc I am exhausted and tired of waking up in the middle of the night… Or listening to her whine and cry. I’ve been annoyed bc I wanted my husband to be able to hold and console her, but she only wants me. Then, this morning I realized “how horrible of a thing is it really? She wants me and to be held and loved by me.” Right now, I’m at the beach and losing out on an awesome tan, and perhaps, at this moment, an even tan… Bc she’s asleep in my arms. And you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the world!!!!! “The sun will come out tomorrow” and many many other days…. But I won’t get this time and moments with her forever.
This has all too soon become reality for me. My 12-9-6 year olds no longer really need me. Their father and I divorced and I am now forced to share my time. I was walking down the street today and a feeling of loneliness consumed my heart. When did the amazing feeling of being needed by my children start slipping away? For years it was me and my three ducklings…..being divorced has cut my time in half. Now, another woman gets to enjoy my other half of time. When did my babies begin to no longer cry for me, to no longer want to only be with me….yet here it is and here I am.
Time flies…and the older they get the faster it goes. (Or is it im getting older)
Hold them tight….find patience…..take pictures. Trust God!!!
I wish I could turn back the clock.
As a mother of 5 (between 13-27yrs now!), and a grandmother of 3, your post brought back SO many memories/emotions…May you continue to be blessed with such sensitive insights, and share them along your journey ” )
Yeah…I remember my time when my 2.7 yr old was born. I m so much in love with her. I was with my in-laws when she was born. My mother in law didn’t help me at all. Because she wanted a baby boy .Boys are important for them. A girl is of no value here. I know every Indian family is not same. But these people ruined my life. It sucks when people still follow old stupid tradition. I love my Indian tradition but this one…. It hurts when people are there to take care of your child. But they actually don’t help you. I was alone in the crowd. I had to cook, clean, take care of her, take care of husband and in laws, listen to my sweetheart baby, feed her, her potty, her pee, need to clean clothes,listen to peoples rubbish, listen to my husbands hurtfull words , and so on….my husband is not at all cooperative, just wants sex from me. It makes me more depressed.
I love my baby a lot. She is special for me. But somewhere I have lost myself. My wishes ,my dreams ,my job, my body. I miss my job a lot. I want to work outside. But can’t. I want to loose weight but unable to because most of the time I m not well. Sometimes I forget that there are medicines to relieve pain. But don’t take them. Want to cry out loud N say every one that I need care and support. Already had a word with hubby but he doesn’t understand anything as he is too conservative.
I just need love and support . N nothing else. I want peace of mind.
GEETA, I admire how strong you are and how brave you’re being in the struggle you’re experiencing. A weaker woman could not tolerate what you are tolerating, so keep powering through. Girls are absolutely precious, so it saddens me when cultures don’t understand that. After all, a society with no girls would exterminate itself…because where do babies come from? That’s right—babies come from baby girls, who grew up to be women. Every single man in the world was born BY A GIRL. Do they not think of that? Girls have loving hearts, nurturing demeanors and tender souls. A world of all men would be too harsh and stern to flourish. I am sorry no one is helping you. Are there support groups for moms where you are that you could reach out to? Where exactly are you located? Keep telling your husband your concerns, and reiterate that he is half of the parenting, and needs to accept his responsibilities in that role. Tell him if he wants to be intimate with you, he needs to help with the baby—because if you are handling all of the work yourself, you are not only physically less capable of being intimate, but you are emotionally separated from your husband. And sex without emotional connection or active willingness is actually rape, even if you are married. So unless he wants to commit crimes against you, he needs to grasp that and adjust his expectations accordingly.
But in the meantime, seek solace in prayer. You’re not alone. Whatever higher power you believe in, there IS one, and that higher power sees your struggle and your pain. Don’t even feel like you go unnoticed. There is always that greater someone paying attention to you, and empathizing with your challenges, even when you FEEL alone. I know it’s SO HARD. But when you can’t get the help and love you want from others, just remember your baby girl. To her, you are THE WORLD. To her, you are powerful and magical. You gave her life, and you sustain her life. She loves you more than anyone in the world does, and as long as you have her love, you have a light and a hope to live for and to cling to. Look at her beauty, soak up her joy, and let that fuel you through these difficult years.
Thank you Sarah. I needed moral support like the way you gave me. This was the reason I have joined this beautiful blog . thnx for that.
As far as support is concerned, its just my mom and dad who are there with me in my worst. And of course my little angel. I have become so close to her that people say that your life partner is your little girl and not your hubby. N its true.she understands me and my feeling. She cries a lot when I m sad. She wants me to see happy all the time and m so thankful to her. I love her.
And about my hubby, m actually not at all expecting anything out from him.its because I know that he is born N bought up in a culture where women are not given any importance. Its man who are dominant. Women are meant for just house work, sex and taking care of babies. That’s it. So I know things will take time to change. He has changed a bit. But not to the level that we understand each others feelings.
I know one day will come when he will start loving me from his heart and not just physically.I will make that” one day” come in my life. My sacrifices for eaJust that I will have to struggle a lot.
I know I can do it……!!!!!!
Your words are not only impressive but they give me strenght to fight. Its because you are a mother. And you understand things…!!!!
Sarah is Illinois-born/raised, Iowa-educated/careered and California-transplanted.
She put her marketing career on hold as she married a pilot and moved across the country to start Chapter Two of her "quarter life."
Now, she is Marketing and Social Media Strategist at Hathway, San Luis Obispo, CA. She and her husband, who is a private jet pilot, live in SLO...and are raising a newborn baby girl!
Sarah is also the Socials Director on the Board of the Young Professionals Networking Group in SLO, a Chamber of Commerce member, part of the #ShareSLO street team, and is always on the lookout for volunteer opportunities.
She has mad skills in writing, photography, social content, public relations, cooking and yoga.
Other blogs: www.myomisyourom.wordpress.com
Instagram: essDG
Twitter: @TheBookOf_Mom
View all posts by Sarah Graybill
The Book of Mom 
I couldn’t agree with you more! My 7.5 mo daughter got sick for the first the other day and although she is better from that, there is a good possibility she’s having an allergic reaction to something now. Yesterday, last night, and today I started getting really aggravated bc I am exhausted and tired of waking up in the middle of the night… Or listening to her whine and cry. I’ve been annoyed bc I wanted my husband to be able to hold and console her, but she only wants me. Then, this morning I realized “how horrible of a thing is it really? She wants me and to be held and loved by me.” Right now, I’m at the beach and losing out on an awesome tan, and perhaps, at this moment, an even tan… Bc she’s asleep in my arms. And you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the world!!!!! “The sun will come out tomorrow” and many many other days…. But I won’t get this time and moments with her forever.
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This has all too soon become reality for me. My 12-9-6 year olds no longer really need me. Their father and I divorced and I am now forced to share my time. I was walking down the street today and a feeling of loneliness consumed my heart. When did the amazing feeling of being needed by my children start slipping away? For years it was me and my three ducklings…..being divorced has cut my time in half. Now, another woman gets to enjoy my other half of time. When did my babies begin to no longer cry for me, to no longer want to only be with me….yet here it is and here I am.
Time flies…and the older they get the faster it goes. (Or is it im getting older)
Hold them tight….find patience…..take pictures. Trust God!!!
I wish I could turn back the clock.
LikeLike
Dear Sarah,
As a mother of 5 (between 13-27yrs now!), and a grandmother of 3, your post brought back SO many memories/emotions…May you continue to be blessed with such sensitive insights, and share them along your journey ” )
Peace and Strength!
Lisa
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Yeah…I remember my time when my 2.7 yr old was born. I m so much in love with her. I was with my in-laws when she was born. My mother in law didn’t help me at all. Because she wanted a baby boy .Boys are important for them. A girl is of no value here. I know every Indian family is not same. But these people ruined my life. It sucks when people still follow old stupid tradition. I love my Indian tradition but this one…. It hurts when people are there to take care of your child. But they actually don’t help you. I was alone in the crowd. I had to cook, clean, take care of her, take care of husband and in laws, listen to my sweetheart baby, feed her, her potty, her pee, need to clean clothes,listen to peoples rubbish, listen to my husbands hurtfull words , and so on….my husband is not at all cooperative, just wants sex from me. It makes me more depressed.
I love my baby a lot. She is special for me. But somewhere I have lost myself. My wishes ,my dreams ,my job, my body. I miss my job a lot. I want to work outside. But can’t. I want to loose weight but unable to because most of the time I m not well. Sometimes I forget that there are medicines to relieve pain. But don’t take them. Want to cry out loud N say every one that I need care and support. Already had a word with hubby but he doesn’t understand anything as he is too conservative.
I just need love and support . N nothing else. I want peace of mind.
LikeLike
GEETA, I admire how strong you are and how brave you’re being in the struggle you’re experiencing. A weaker woman could not tolerate what you are tolerating, so keep powering through. Girls are absolutely precious, so it saddens me when cultures don’t understand that. After all, a society with no girls would exterminate itself…because where do babies come from? That’s right—babies come from baby girls, who grew up to be women. Every single man in the world was born BY A GIRL. Do they not think of that? Girls have loving hearts, nurturing demeanors and tender souls. A world of all men would be too harsh and stern to flourish. I am sorry no one is helping you. Are there support groups for moms where you are that you could reach out to? Where exactly are you located? Keep telling your husband your concerns, and reiterate that he is half of the parenting, and needs to accept his responsibilities in that role. Tell him if he wants to be intimate with you, he needs to help with the baby—because if you are handling all of the work yourself, you are not only physically less capable of being intimate, but you are emotionally separated from your husband. And sex without emotional connection or active willingness is actually rape, even if you are married. So unless he wants to commit crimes against you, he needs to grasp that and adjust his expectations accordingly.
But in the meantime, seek solace in prayer. You’re not alone. Whatever higher power you believe in, there IS one, and that higher power sees your struggle and your pain. Don’t even feel like you go unnoticed. There is always that greater someone paying attention to you, and empathizing with your challenges, even when you FEEL alone. I know it’s SO HARD. But when you can’t get the help and love you want from others, just remember your baby girl. To her, you are THE WORLD. To her, you are powerful and magical. You gave her life, and you sustain her life. She loves you more than anyone in the world does, and as long as you have her love, you have a light and a hope to live for and to cling to. Look at her beauty, soak up her joy, and let that fuel you through these difficult years.
YOU CAN do it.
LikeLike
Thank you Sarah. I needed moral support like the way you gave me. This was the reason I have joined this beautiful blog . thnx for that.
As far as support is concerned, its just my mom and dad who are there with me in my worst. And of course my little angel. I have become so close to her that people say that your life partner is your little girl and not your hubby. N its true.she understands me and my feeling. She cries a lot when I m sad. She wants me to see happy all the time and m so thankful to her. I love her.
And about my hubby, m actually not at all expecting anything out from him.its because I know that he is born N bought up in a culture where women are not given any importance. Its man who are dominant. Women are meant for just house work, sex and taking care of babies. That’s it. So I know things will take time to change. He has changed a bit. But not to the level that we understand each others feelings.
I know one day will come when he will start loving me from his heart and not just physically.I will make that” one day” come in my life. My sacrifices for eaJust that I will have to struggle a lot.
I know I can do it……!!!!!!
Your words are not only impressive but they give me strenght to fight. Its because you are a mother. And you understand things…!!!!
Kudos to every mom on the earth.
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